When lockdown first hit in March, I naively thought that it would only last about three weeks. But two months in, these high hopes of freedom slowly decreased, and my mental state started to plummet.
My anxiety was at an all-time high and I did not think we would ever go back to normal. My Mam repeatedly told me that there will be a way out of this and that we will be able to see our family and friends again soon.
August was the month of eat out to help out and yes I definitely took advantage of it. It was nice to be able to sit in a restaurant and feel some sort of normality again. It was also the month of my birthday, which luckily I was able to spend with my boyfriend Connor and my family. It felt like freedom was just around the corner.
I went back to college in September having had a great summer filled with fun times. I felt as though lockdowns were a distant memory. I spent the majority of my time either studying or making memories with Connor by going to the beach or going on little dene walks with either my dog Woody or his dog Dodger.
I spent Halloween carving pumpkins; I had no idea another lockdown was looming. When I found out about it I was devastated, I felt like it would be like the previous lockdown that went on for months on end with no physical contact with my family or friends. I decided to continue my college work from home as I thought that it would have been safer for myself having a long-term condition.
December arrived and spending Christmas with my immediate family and my Grandma felt like a dream that would never come true. After all the uncertainty 2020 had given to me, I felt that the magic that this festive period normally brings was lost. Thankfully, Christmas went ahead as normal, and much like August, it felt like life was finally going back to normal.
When 2021 arrived, there was much hope for this year as nothing could have possibly been as bad as 2020. I decided to start the year with a bit of optimism (despite being in a lockdown) and I booked a staycation at Eastgate Cottages in North Yorkshire for my 18th birthday to spend with Connor. I was feeling hopeful. However, as time went on and lockdowns continued through to February, I started feeling doubtful about the other 12 months of the year.
My A-level exams were brought forward to May which increased my stress levels as it felt like we only had two months to revise which was a struggle. I ended up becoming sleep deprived and restless after consecutive late nights cramming as much revision into my brain as possible. I managed to get through my exams as best as I could possibly do, now an agonising wait for results day in August.
As I sit here writing this blog and think about the whirlwind of 2020, I have realised what really matters. Without the constant reassurance from my family and friends ensuring that everything would be okay, I do not think I would have gotten through what 2020 and life in general has thrown at me; I now know that no matter what happens, as long as I have a strong and supportive group of people by my side, there is nothing I cannot face.